Time
really flies by. I know that’s
such a cliché thing to say, but it’s true. At the beginning of my time here I hated it when volunteers
would say this because that’s all I wanted it to do. Instead it just stood still. During my first few months in site I found myself thinking
how I wouldn’t be disappointed if something came up that made me have to head
home. In fact, I kind of wanted
it. It was getting sick all of the
time, wasn’t able to communicate with people in my town or the outside world
due to poor Spanish skills and low/no phone signal and internet, as well as a
handful of other issues that just left me feeling as if I were climbing a steep
and endless mountain that I’d never completely summit. That being said, I knew I would never be able to live with
myself if I quit, so I kept on going trying to concentrate on the positives and
just look
forward. Luckily, those
positives are what kept me going through the hardest times.
I
now find myself with only 8 months left of service and looking back on all of
those hard times. Thinking back on the times I
posted about all the great things I was doing on this blog to try and put on a
positive front when I was actually struggling. The times I’d joke around with other volunteers about the
number of bacterial infections, parasites, and skin reactions I had had. On all of the times I’ve stressed out
over any number of different issues.
I’ve figured out so much about myself over the past year and a half, and
it’s been quite the roller coaster ride of emotions. But as I’m looking back on all of this, I don’t know when I
started thinking of doing what I had once thought crazy: stay in Nicaragua
longer than I need to. I think
it honestly just think it snuck up on me. I haven’t been getting sick every other week, I feel
competent enough in Spanish to hold a decent conversation, I’ve more or less
learned to work with my cell phone/internet situation, and I have finally been
making more Nicaraguan friends my age.
Now
that I’m looking towards the future and am starting the dreaded initial job
searching and networking phase, I am figuring out I don’t want to leave just
yet. Nicaragua has becoming my
reality. I would love to extend a
third year in the Peace Corps, but financial issues are making that look like
less and less of a reality. I
guess we’ll see what happens.
Because while things still come up that tick me off and stress me out, I
feel like I’m finally learning how to deal with it.
The
past week and a half or so is a perfect example. I learned that I under budgeted for my stove/oven project
due to an “AND/OR” in our stove guide that should really just say “AND.” A teacher forgot that I had co-planned
with her and taught without me. On
two different occasions teachers accused me of not telling them something about
a class that I had talked to them about days before. I had finally figured out all of the details of, and planned
out a field trip for next week that I was super excited about only to find out
that the Ministry of Education just banned field trips. And in general, my plans have just
changed so many times that I can barely read my planner through all of the cross
outs. The difference is that this
time I legitimately have let most of it roll off me within an hour or two. Things that usually stress me out
beyond belief haven’t been getting to me as much. It is much easier to concentrate on the positives when
I don’t have to consciously do it to try and forget the negatives. With all that said, I’ve had a pretty
cool week!!
5 things that stand out from
this week:
1) Made another oven
2)
Was able to help someone from the States on his PhD. thesis by introducing him
to people in my communities for his interviews.
3)
Got to listen to a new teacher I’m working with go off on a 10 minute rant
about equality and respect regardless of sexual orientation when a student used
the Nicaraguan equivalent of the word “fag” in class. It was great!!
4)
Went on a few really good runs!
The view is so great in the afternoon!
5)
The library in one of my schools that was built 2 years ago finally get a truck
load of donated books! It felt
like Christmas!
